I’ve got an Inner Optimizer.
She’s so efficient, she doesn’t even waste time with having a better name for herself. She’s committed to getting the MOST out of my time, energy and resources — at all costs! Sometimes she’s a godsend. Sometimes it is a good idea to pick up bread and fruit along with the milk.
But when she slips into being the the MAXIMIZER she becomes a tyrant!
Case in point: My Love-Hate relationship with Grocery Shopping
I used to drive my husband (and myself!) crazy because I was not physically capable of going to the store “just for milk”. I would head to the store with the best of intentions (“just milk, just milk, just milk”). But no matter how hard I tried, I would come home an hour (or more!) later with a carload of groceries–sacrificing a relaxing morning, eating breakfast with my family, and anything else I might have wanted to do with my day– to an obsessive lust for efficiency. Optimization at all costs!
It seemed so ridiculous, but I felt completely hijacked by that Inner Optimizer — as well as frustrated, grouchy, and resentful about all the little people in my house who had the audacity to …eat all the food up, not “let” me get what I wanted, etc. etc.
Turns out what was masquerading as “efficiently” and optimization was nothing more than fear and scarcity. (Oh no, what if I need this later and I don’t have it? What if I forget something? What if I change my mind and I and want something different?)
Hear all about my nutty grocery shopping hangups in today’s video:
The good news is that you don’t have to banish your Inner Optimizer (which would never work anyway)– you simply need to re-direct her. Chances are, you’ve never given her direction on what she was optimizing for— so she just went with her own agenda (and habitual pattern).
You get her optimizing for peace, connection, ease, joy, playfulness, enjoyment, pleasure, play….well, then… your life will start looking (and feeling) pretty OPTIMAL!
Please tell me I’m not the only one! Share your own Inner Optimizer/MAXIMZER stories in the comments below: